It felt weird to type that. I don't meant TTC, I just mean to deal with all of this.
I'm a teacher and today was my last day of school until 1/4. That's fantastic (other than the two bags of work I brought home, but that's another whole thing).
The last two days I just feel like a nasty bitch. Gee thanks for the Xmas gift, AF! I'm trying. Truly I am. I just am so disgusted. I don't even want to know what I'd be feeling like without the Lexap.ro.
I am so over all of this holiday crap. The only thing I want is to see my mom, who lives two hours away. Looks like there's going to be freezing rain and that's not going to be happening. I have all these presents that I suppose people will be offended if I don't wrap. I'm not a very good "faker", so plastering a smile on my face just won't cut it.
I know I wanted to O early and to have my hysterscopy on 12/30 instead of 1/6 so I don't have to miss any more work. I got that wish. I'm not looking forward to all the appointments and testing that go along with it. I'm not looking forward to ushering in 2010 recovering from surgery. Interesting that in my 35 years I never had surgery, until 2009. Thanks, lady parts! Now I have three under my belt. I'm glad I don't have to deal with any of this with school, but I'm just dreading every second of it. I just want something to look forward to.
The worst part is the injections...for any of you who do this (whether it be triggers, or Lovenox), any tips? I have an appointment to learn how to give them to myself before my surgery (6 days total). I'm freaked out. I keep thinking of my grandmother. She was diabetic and died in 1985 (shut up to any of you who weren't born yet!). I was in 5th grade. She gave herself injections every day. I remember vividly I was with her once when I was sick and didn't want to take my medicine. She started to cry and told me to take it, that I should be thankful that when I take medicine it makes me better. She was right, and I did get better. She didn't get better. Complications from her diabetes are what killer her. I hope that I have her strength to do this. The thought is just so overwhelming to me. I hope that these injections, and the injections when I get my BFP again will make it better.
I used to be needlephobic, and these days, giving myself injections - even the IM ones - doesn't really phase me. I say this just to let you know that it does get easier.
ReplyDeleteI'll be on Lovenox for this next (hoping) pregnancy, too, due to multiple miscarriages, and they do hurt more than some other injections. But they don't hurt nearly as much as the anticipation hurts, if that makes sense. As far as practical tips go - Lovenox is the only one this works for, but inject yourself as slowly as you can. Get the needle in fast, but inject slo-o-o-o-o-wly. I don't know why, but it really does make a difference.
Please don't freak out. You've already been through more pain than any puny needle can bring you. So I keep telling myself when I have a nervous moment with the syringe in my hand. A bit depressing, but it gets me through the shaky moments. I'm pulling for you!
I'm sorry I have no help with injections for you. But I'm happy that you won't have to miss any more work for the next phase. A small consolation, I know. Hang in there. Keep trying. I'm doing my best too.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind needles but for some reason I freak out trying to give myself the injections. So I make Joey do them. His hand doesn't shake and he does it much faster than me. But quick is the key--stick yourself as fast as possible then slowly inject. The longer you spend pushing the needle in you, the more it's going to hurt. Trust me! Oh, and air bubbles. Make sure you tap the syringe to get those out, too.
ReplyDeleteI really hope you can go see you mom this weekend and the weather cooperates. You and I both will be happy when this weekend and the holiday season are over.
(((hugs)))
Hi, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time right now. I hope everything goes okay with the surgery and puts you on a good track for next year.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're going through this hard time. I hope you get to see you Mom very soon b/c I know that helps, even if it's only for a little while. I hope the injections don't hurt too much and that your surgery goes very well. I'll be thinking about you lots. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteThis holiday season for me has been a tough one to say the least. My EDD was this month and its been down hill from there. So, I can honestly say "I understand"
ReplyDeleteAs for the injections, a dear friend undergoing IVF for the 3rd time (successfully, now at 10 wks) had the following advice: 1) get your spouse to do the injection 2) Stick quickly and release slowly 3) Grip something tightly and project your anxiety it 4) Take your mind to another place (if you can) 5) Reward yourself for enduring the shot!
Best of luck on your surgery and I know I will be seeing your post on a BFP very soon :)
Hugs and enjoy your visit with your Mother...
Andrea
www.persuitofourfairytale.blogspot.com
I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. Could you and MR. SC plan something special, just for the two of you for the time between Christmas and New Year's? Maybe a night out or something? Just a thought....maybe it would give something to look forward to.
ReplyDelete((big hugs))
Hugs.. the best thing about injections is they really dont hurt as much as you think they will and you get to feel brave as a warrior after you do them.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that it is so hard today.
Thanks everyone for the advice and thoughts. I appreciate it. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Kelly!
ReplyDeleteI used to HATE needles. But once you've done it a few times its not so bad. They aren't all big and scary. Just don't let your mind get you all hyped up first and just do it. It will be alright. I hope you get to enjoy some part of christmas this year. *hug*
I had Bryan give me my injections. I would pinch the part of my lowers ab area really hard. Then he would give me the shot. There is no way I could have done it myself. Good luck with the shots!
ReplyDeleteWith regards to the injections, I know it sounds scary, but I think you'll find them easier than you initially anticipate. I know that I had terrible needle-phobia and after the first few shots I was a pro.
ReplyDeleteI have a really good video of a girl I met at Advocacy Day doing the Lovenox injection, I'll email it to you b/c I can't get the link to post.
Jen, I never even thought of that. I'm sad though there's stuff to pinch there! :) Michelle, thanks!
ReplyDeletei hope everything works outfor you, i have a fear of needles, but in the lst 5 years ihave had 6 surgeries and millions of shots, so i think i grew inmune, lol
ReplyDeleteICLW hugs!
Hi Kelly, I don't think my last comment published.
ReplyDeleteI remember my childhood friend's grandfather giving himself diabetes injections and it is something I've been thinking of recently. I hope that when you go that route it is as pain-free as possible. I also am hoping that your hysterscopy goes great!
Enjoy (or endure) your holidays!