I'm a fairly take-charge kind of person. I like to gather information and take action. I consider those things personal strengths. I'm also impatient. I'm getting better at it, but it's something that I've been trying to work on.
So, as you can imagine, all of this TTC bull is difficult. Nope, I never thought I'd be one of those people who'd get pg right away. Really, I didn't. I'm glad I set things in motion yesterday with my RE visit. I really am.
The waiting now? Until January to know everything? Um, yeah. I'm not doing well with that. I want to be able to do something.
I started obsessing today. I'm trying not to but hey, at least I'm not upset I suppose. I called my OBGYN out of curiosity to find out my CD3 b/w from Dec 2008. I have it somewhere but for the life of me, I can't find it. Anyway, the nurse gave me the info. She then said I can't find your estradiol results. I'll give you a call back if they ran that test.
Well, that did it. My FSH was 5.5 last year. I thought that was pretty good for being 34. Then I went to Dr. Google and read that in some cases, your FSH can be normal because it's suppressed by abnormal estradiol. Those two tests together can determine egg quality best.
Of course, now I think I've found the reason for my losses. It must be that I have bad eggs, which is one of the things that can't really be "fixed" without donor eggs or IUI or IVF to help things.
You may suggest to try to keep myself busy?? Oh yes, I was trying to. I did all of this fun stuff during school today!
It's almost impossible not to obsess and think of the what if's--especially when you're playing the waiting game. And I know from experience that trying to relax, keep busy and concentrate on something else...just doesn't work. Everytime I try to do that I obsess more. But I do know that somehow we'll get through this, hopefully with our sanity somewhat intact ;) ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteRemember our motto? Google is the DEVIL! I know it's easier said than done, but don't search yourself to death. It will just drive you crazy. I know because I've done it before.
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) I hope this new RE of yours figures out what's going on soon.
I agree with Katie 100% STOP GOOGLING!! :) It will do nothing except drive you insane!
ReplyDelete((hugs))
Oh! I was JUST going to come on here and say, "Remember that Dr. Google is the DEVIL!"
ReplyDeleteThat said, though, I totally get your need to look stuff up -- I'm the same way. Just take it all with a grain of salt (or, you know, the whole margarita, or whatever, haha). Just because it's on google does NOT MEAN IT WILL END UP BEING YOUR STORY!
((hugs))
I hope the wait goes by fast and then they find all the answers really soon! I agree google is the devil but we're all prone to google our pants off from time to time. Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteI am also take-charge and impatient. The waiting is really, really hard. It's hard to feel like you're not DOING anything...but you are. You are doing everything you can and it sounds like you've got a great RE. Wishing you some holiday calm!
ReplyDelete