Ouch.

Before I even get into the details about my hysteroscopy, I wanted to say thanks for everyone who offered their kind words before the procedure. :)

This second procedure was not pleasant. The first one was actually not that bad at all. I was going into this one thinking that it would be the same. NO WAY.

They took me late (fine, ok) and the antibiotic that they gave me before made me super gassy and sick to my stomach. Ok, fine.

So I wake up to a horrible sore throat. I ask in my groggy state if this is normal (I hadn't had this with my D&Es or my other hysteroscopy). They said oh yes, it's from the tube they had in your because of your gas. Hmm...wonder what I did while I was asleep? Freakout reason #1. A tube is no big deal. I just hadn't had one before.

Freakout reason #2. I find out just before surgery that the "balloon" they are putting in my uterus to prevent more scar tissue from forming has a "tail". A tube hangning from me that goes until about my knees. Freaking long tail. I did not realize this. I thought the balloon was just up in there. Ok, fine. The med student tried to make me feel better (with the doctor, explaining, pre-op) by joking around that I couldn't "wag it". I was glad she made me laugh. Anyway, ok, fine. Well, when I awake I discover a bag attached to the tube. What? My nurse explained that it was because of draining blood from me, blah blah blah. This wasn't in the original plan and I immediately thought something went wrong.

Freakout reason #3. I was supposed to be done in an hour. The clock read three hours (from what I desperately was able to make out, sans glasses).

Then I got up from laying down to try to go to the bathroom. I couldn't. I then instantly had horrible heat flashes and a thing in case I had to throw up. This was new also. Freakout reason #4.

Oh...the biggest reason? The pain. OMG. When I woke up, it was a 7. It escalated to a nine. I was writhing in pain and begging for something else for it. My doc explaining that often the uterus responds with something similar to labor pains from the balloon. Freaking wonderful.

So there, in my hospital bed, I had an all-out panic attack. I thought something went wrong and they weren't telling me. I was thinking how in the hell am I going to school with a bag attached to my legs? I lost it. I couldn't breathe and was shaking uncontrollably. Enter my new friend, Val.ium. Soooo nice to meet you.

I apologized profusely to my doctor and to anyone else who would listen. I know that in the grand scheme of life, I was lucky for the procedure I was having. I could have been the woman across from me who was around 40 in pre-op who just found out she had cancer. I just thought something had gone wrong because it was all so different and because of the pain. Last time too I was in the hospital for a total of five hours, start to finish. This time, it was 10.

I am feeling much, much better. Still odd to have my tail, but whatever. I'm going to do my best to get into school tomorrow for a half day.

Speaking of which (and if you read this far)...I really should tell my students something. I will have missed a total of 13 days this year already. They know I've had surgery twice but I know they are concerned. I'm not going to tell them about the miscarriages or anything, but I was thinking of telling them that I'm ok...that I have a blood disorder that they're trying to manage and get straightened out and sometimes when I see my doctor I need surgery, relatively at the last minute, but that I'm fine. Thoughts? They're mainly 9th graders. Only a couple have asked me if I'm ok, but they are more and more asking my sub, other teachers, etc.