Today is my first day back at work. It's for an in-service, which is easy. I'm in pain today, but that's just because I'm actually up and around.
Two yucky things though. I was walking down the hallway and saw a fellow teacher who is out on leave with her almost two month old baby. I almost started crying on the spot. Why did she have to be as old as my baby would be if I wouldn't have had my first m/c?
Then, I stopped in to fill out my absence report from last week. The secretary is sweet and said oh, I didn't know you were going to be out. Is everything ok? I briefly explained that I had a dr. appointment on Tuesday afternoon and then had surgery Wednesday morning. She says oh my! Then asks, "Do you have any children?" I replied, no, no I don't. She then says oh, well that's a good thing for right now. It would have made things much more difficult.
Gee, thanks. Thanks for reminding me of that, right after I saw the two month old baby. As if my pain, loopiness from the medication, the balloon in my uterus and my "tail" that goes to my knee with attached bag isn't enough of a reminder.
I know she didn't mean any harm, but yuck. Sorry for whining but thanks for listening.
Whine away! I just don't think people realize the small things that can set we infertiles off. I hope the rest of the day gets better for you! Huge ((((HUGS)))))
ReplyDeleteI think that there should be a law against asking the question, "Do you have any kids?" Especially to those of us who are not twenty.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when people act like things are so much easier without kids. When my aunt died, a lady asked if she had kids. I said, "No." She said, "Oh thank goodness!" I wanted to say, "Does it make her less of a person? Is it okay that she died because she doesn't have kids???"
I am sorry that you are back at work and I am sorry that you have a tail. :(
I do hate that question. It's usually well-meaning, but unless you can manage to pull off an outright lie (big grin, "Nope! And I sure am Glad!") they usually realize they said something wrong and then go on to dig the conversation even deeper into the shit hole. What with the "well, kids are a mixed blessing, maybe you're lucky, yada yada yada."
ReplyDeleteUgh.
Sounds like a crap day, all in all, and you're totally allowed to talk about it. Also hope you're out of pain soon. It sounds like rather a good day to come home and curl up on the couch. Hope you are through with the in-service soon!
Yuck! What a crappy day back to work.
ReplyDeleteI despise that questions and the comments that follow.
Hope the day goes by fast!
Yes that is an awful question! Until we adopted our son, I would usually say "Not yet. Hopefully soon," and let people figure out that this was not the most tactful question to have asked me. The last time I got it was at my new hairdresser's, 2 weeks before we adopted our baby boy (though I didn't even know he existed yet then!), and I used it as an opportunity to launch into an explanation of our hopes to adopt and open adoption in general. She got much more of an earful than she'd expected with what I'm sure she thought was just a small-talk question! Then I made her take some of our adoption "business" cards with our contact info to hand out to clients who might know someone. But that was the only time in this whole TTC journey (3.5 years and counting) that I've been kind of okay with that question--because I had a different answer to give. Sorry for the crappy first day back :( Hope tomorrow is better.
ReplyDeleteCrappy way to start the day! It's the worst when someone thinks they are being helpful but really they are just making it worst.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!! Hope the rest of your day was better.
That sucks, Kelly. I hate when people ask that. I'm sorry you're having such a rough day. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI still can't imagine walking around with a tail attached to a bag. God bless ya! *thinking of you*
ReplyDeleteWhy do people always have to ask that question??? People have no idea how hurtful that question can be. I hope your day has gotten better!
ReplyDeleteKelly.. god that sucks girl. I am sorry you had yuckster number 1 and 2 happen to you...
ReplyDelete***hugs***
ReplyDeleteUgh a double whammy! I agree w/ Noelle, there should be a law against that question! OR, if the person says "no" they should win $10k...hey I'd take that, it would help w/ all the costs of IF. =)
ReplyDeleteOh good god. I'm so sorry :( :(
ReplyDeleteDo people not think before they vomit words from their mouth? Um, maybe for SOME people it would be easier to not have children. But she doesn't know that. Ugh. I just don't know why people don't think about things like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for all of the stupid idiots out there, Kelly. I hope you don't run into any more this week!!!
(((HUGS))) Kelly!!!
ReplyDeleteI loathe that question! I simply respond by saying "it's on our WISH list". But, honestly, I wonder what they would say if I were to say "yes, 1 in heaven"
ReplyDeleteSome people just don't stop at the "do you have children" question. Recently, when I answered NO the person followed with "do you want children?" What? You don't ask a follow up question! It's like do you have a dog? No. Do you want one? Grrrr...damn!
Hugs to you and feel better soon
Andrea
persuitofourfairytale.blogspot.com