So I'm feeling a little better. Things hit me on Tuesday like a ton of bricks. I didn't sleep on Tuesday night and didn't go to work on Wednesday. I'm a teacher. I can't fake the energy that I need or my emotional state. I refuse to break down in school so I stayed home.
I was bummed to bet a +OPK yesterday and I think today is my O day. I'm bummed because DH and I planned a romantic getaway and it's cutting it close whether AF will be in town for it. BOOO.
I have a bit of an update/vent. A little while back, I blogged about losing my friend and how I was torn up about it. When we had our m/c "scare" (before I actually m/c), she came to my house, called numerous times, etc. I told her (when I found out I was really m/c) that I just needed some space right now. Well guess what? It's now been almost a month and she literally has not spoken to me. I work with her. We exchange "hellos" in the hallway, but that's about it. WTF? I guess she's not as good as a friend as I thought. The worst part is, if/when she decides she is going to talk to me (I'm figuring it will turn into her confronting me about why I'm not talking to her), I know she'll be the one I take this all out on. I sound like I'm the one in high school now, creating this drama. But still.
Blech, Kelly. When you said you needed a little space, she should have said, "Ok, let me know when you're ready to talk or if you need anything," and left it at that. I'm sorry you feel like you've lost a friend, especially at a time when you need friends and support the most.
ReplyDeleteI also don't think you're creating drama like a teenager--I don't think there's anything you could have done differently. Don't beat yourself up over it. (((HUGS)))
Your friend really needs to be more supportive. She is being like a teenager. I agree that she should have been gracious when you said you needed time.
ReplyDeleteIt surprises me how insensitive "friends" can be. I yelled at one of my "friends" after my miscarriage when I thought she said something in a mean way to me. She proceeded to gossip about me and then bring me into her classroom and yell at me in front of students about how mean I was. I kept crying and telling her that I was in an awful state of grief and that I was sorry, and she wouldn't even let up. It was horrendous that someone could have such a lack of empathy.
I am sorry that your "friend" is doing this. I hope that she never has to know the grief of a miscarriage.
I'm sorry about your friend. Hopefully things turn around and she can really be a friend to you. I hope you're feeling better, and I hope AF stays the heck away from your romantic getaway!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Kelly. Thats crap, and she doesnt deserve you by the sound of it... it hurts though doesnt it, and it feels like this journey is painful enough without the added little extras like your old mate.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your friend is acting that way toward you. It's sad because as a good friend, she should know that you didn't mean to hurt her in any way or to push her away for good....space is just that...space. You haven't created any drama. She is making this tough for you and that is not what a friend should be doing. I hope you can get it worked out soon. IF is hard enough without having to deal with stuff like this.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I hadn't ever found your blog. Thanks so much for commenting on mine! Sorry about the thing with your friend. I lost a close friend for nearly 2 years (after 8+ years of friendship). We stopped talking to each other over a disagreement, but once we reconciled it was like the time wasn't anything. It might take time, but if she's a real friend things will turn around. I want to bet the time apart for my friend and I was the best thing for our relationship.
ReplyDeleteOh and I'm right there with you on the AF timing thing. Looks like if I'm "normal" than she'll show for our 5 year anniversary getaway. I never feel normal, but because I have plans I probably will be just so the hag can show. I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but I miss BCP so I can adapt my cycles if I needed to. BUT I never plan on taking those things again!