So tomorrow DH got us tickets to the last home Penn State football game of the season. I was sooo excited all day; we just got the tickets as a last minute, surprise thing. We have awesome seats and I made all the food while DH worked on packing everything.
And then I remembered.
We went to two games earlier this year. The last game we went to, I was pregnant. It was right after we found out. I remember being bloated and so super hot in the sun and falling asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired. We had plans to go to the homecoming game five weeks later. We talked about next football season and having a little one. We talked about how we might not get to any games next year and how that was ok. We talked about bringing home our LO from the hospital in a cute little PSU outfit. Even though we were both so positive, I remember walking to our seats thinking...I hope the next time we're here, I'm still pregnant. I tried to brush off the feeling, but DH knew I was distracted and asked what was wrong. I told him. He was reassuring and said all those things to make me feel better. We ended up cancelling our plans to go to the homecoming game. It was two days after my D&E.
I want to have fun tomorrow but that memory is still going to be in the back of my mind. Perhaps I need to pack extra alcohol in our bag for the pregame festitivies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm ok. I'm glad I thought of it now, when I was in the house by myself. He was so excited to take me to this game because he knew how happy I would be. And I will be. I need to be.
Hey Kelly
ReplyDeleteI am glad you thought of it now too, and have given yourself the space to process and prepare. I hope you have a wonderful game and a couple of lovely drinks..
I hope that, despite everything, you have a wonderful time at the game. And having an extra drink or two can't hurt. :)
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
I hope you have a great time at the game--the extra alcohol certainly might help. :)
ReplyDelete((hugs))
I hope you have fun! Lots of fun! And have a drink for me too=)
ReplyDeleteWow, you know, it never ceases to amaze me that this horrible thing called IF and reoccuring loss can just sneak up and ruin your day at any given moment.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you are at the game, this very moment, screaming like a rabid fan and enjoying every minute of (what I hope will be) a Penn State victory!
Thanks, ladies! We had a great time. Last night I asked DH if he remembered the last game and he said yes. We talked about it a little and that helped. I was ok and just had fun. There was a moment that Dh thought I was going to lose it...there was a pg woman in front of me in the bathroom line. The look on his face for a split second was "oh shit", but I was fine. Not one drop of alcohol, either!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to have a good time, despite the memories that came up from last time. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteOne question, though......no alcohol?? Why NOT? LOL. :-)