I can't believe I get to post about this...it's not me whining about AF and it's not me talking about my anxiety about all things TTC. It's about someone who "got it" today. Someone who hasn't gone through IF and was thoughtful and caring and it really touched me.
One thing that has become increasingly difficult for me has been going out in public in non-controlled situations (ex: not knowing who will be there, if they "know", etc)or fear that I will break down, as has happened on more than one occasion. So yesterday I had signed up to be on a committee at school. I was somewhat reluctant (for the reasons I listed above) but went.
The conversation started because my friend, M, said, "oh X and X would be here but they're due any moment so they can't." Ok, fine. Well, this turned into a whole conversation about how the males there had vasectomies, how so many women are pregnant in the district (I think the phrase "everybody is pregnant") was used, blah blah blah. It ended up in everyone at the table saying, "oh, not me" or whatever. I just sat there, wanting the ground to swallow me once again. I was proud of myself though. As much as it hurt, I didn't break down. I just sat there, quiet. I left early, but I was so glad I didn't cry. I tried to think about my friend, M. She's single and in her mid 40's and I wondered, as everyone else yammered on about "shooting blanks" or whatever, if she wanted to be a mother but "missed" her chance and how this was making her feel.
This morning, M found me. Why? She wanted to apologize to me for bringing up the pregnant women and the whole conversation that followed. She felt so badly and she could only imagine how I must have felt and she was so, so sorry. This was the same friend who was there when the student before asked me if she could go get her breast pump, causing me to break down.
Even after I reassured her it was ok, she still kept saying how badly she felt. I then explained a little about how going out was tough for me sometimes but I wanted to be on the committee, etc. etc. I just can't believe she thought about me and actually apologized. She didn't pretend that it didn't happen and tried to offer me some comfort, even though she had nothing to be sorry for.
So maybe, just maybe, the next time some idiot makes some stupid comment, I'll remember M and how kind she was to me today.
Thank goodness for kind and sincere people who care right when we need it the most. Lord knows I been cause in some awkward situations and conversations and there were times when I really felt like I wanted to just die... so I can relate.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you have a friend at school who is so compassionate and caring. Very sweet of her to make the effort to apologize.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful friend. I am so glad she came and apologized to you, even though it wasn't her fault. It at least gives you hope that there are still compassionate people out there who respect what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, how nice. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful moment with us! We can live vicariously!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThere are truly some good people left in this world. Glad you found one of 'em. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that she apologized to you! What a wonderful person! It's so nice to see that there are some good people left!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm really glad she went to you to apologize and talk to you. It means so much when you know people are thinking about you and aren't just oblivious and stupid all the time. I know how much that must have meant to you. =)
ReplyDeleteThat is really nice, and so very rare. I think some people are just wired to be sensitive to the feelings of others. Other people, not so much (unfortunately).
ReplyDeleteKelly, she sounds like a thoughtful and caring person.. and i am glad she was there and reminded you (and the rest of us) that there are some people who get it.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, we never know where we will be when someone says "just the wrong thing". I call them triggers, triggers that send you running and gasping for air...or in a puddle of tears.
ReplyDeletePeople mean well and they can't sensor every aspect of conversation, but it still hurts. I'm just happy you have a sweet friend who is compassionate enough to say "I'm sorry" She had time to think and realized that you could have potentialy been upset or hurt...what a sweet friend. She's a keeper :)
xoxo
How wonderful. It is so nice to hear about someone who truly thought about your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI hope this takes you through the weekend with nice, positive and happy thoughts.
Glad some kindness & much needed thoughtfulness crossed your path today:)
ReplyDeleteThat really is a kind friend. There are some people out there who can actually empathize even if they've never been through it. These are the people to hold onto tightly. I'm so glad you found someone like that today!!
ReplyDeleteI love hearing about non-infertiles that do the right thing. There aren't enough of them but I'm glad you have at least one! Cherish her.
ReplyDeleteShe is a rare one indeed. That's so awesome that she realized and apologized to you. Most people wouldn't.
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