I'm going to skip the pleasantries. No "how are you" or nice introduction, acting like I care. I don't.
Generally, I'm not a rude person. I don't want to hurt other's feelings. With you though, it's different. Remember that letter I sent you last month? Yeah, this isn't quite as colorful (I'm not linking it for anyone who's new from ICLW because of the extreme profanity) but I can, in fact, articulate my feelings without using expletive. Geez. Have a bit more faith in me.
Can you please show already? I've been excited from three days to see that I'm spotting. It's enough to, um, put off Mr SC's advances. See, AF? Now you're denying me a piece of action. So. not. cool.
This break that started 10/14 has to end already! Don't you have a heart? You are my least favorite family member, AF, if I'm being honest. (I don't like my neice "bloating" and nephew "cramps" if I'm being honest though either) However, it would make me like you a little bit more if you didnt' keep cancelling visits on me! I keep thinking I see you drive up the driveway, so I scramble to do the dishes and put on a bra. C'mon already! Have a heart.
Much hate,
Kelly
ICLW - I also love writing AF profane letters! You shouldn't worry about her she can obviously handle it and doesn't seem to even read them, anyway. Seems like she cancels visits on you & then for me she comes way too often. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your losses, too. I can't imagine having so many so close together. Hugs to you.
But the comment about "I keep thinking I see you drive up the driveway, so I scramble to do the dishes and put on a bra." was classic!
Nothing worse than an Aunt who's both rude AND late. She'll probably overstay her welcome, too.
ReplyDeleteHope you can get her out of your house soon.
Very creative letter! I hope that AF listens to you and shows up in a speedy fashion so you get going with your upcoming plans.....
ReplyDeletelol. I love the line "Now your denying me a piece of action." I am cracking up over here.
ReplyDeleteI hope the B shows soon!
ICLW - so sorry AF is being such a B**ch about things, hope she hurry's her ass up for you!
ReplyDeleteWilling her to come your way...
ReplyDeleteThat aunt is one heartless bitch. When you need her to show up, she's nowhere to be found. When you pray she'll stay away: ding-dong goes the doorbell. I hope she gets there, definitively, SOON.
ReplyDeleteBlech!!! When we want her, she never shows and when we don't she's here too early. Dumb a** b****!!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope she shows soon. I'm in the same place. I would happy to see some spotting actually.
ReplyDeleteI hope she shows up soon!!!
ReplyDeleteAh, the love/hate relationship with AF. Though, I suppose, there is rarely much to love about her these days. Either we hate her for showing up when we don't want her to, or for not showing up when we need her to. Very, very rude, a guest that never arrives when expected.
ReplyDeleteHope she shows up soon!
I would stop bothering to put on a bra for such an ungrateful guest. She deserves no such courtesy!
ReplyDeleteICLW
Hilarious! I hope she shows up soon!
ReplyDeleteHope she co-operates and does the job very soon. Sorry about the waiting:(
ReplyDeleteyou are so funny! Come on you witch! Show already!!
ReplyDeleteWow, your AF is a real bitch! LOL!! Hope she comes around soon!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hope she shows SOON! Enough of the torture already, AF!!!
ReplyDeleteGah! AF... what a dysfunctional relationship we all have with her. I hope she shows up soon!
ReplyDelete