Back in October, I blogged about a "friend" that I thought I was losing. This was the same friend who wanted me there in a godparent role when her child was baptised. This was also the same friend who offered to be a surrogate if we needed one.
Some friend.
Still, as of today, she has not talked to me. We barely even exchange hellos in the hall. Last month, I thought ok, maybe she thinks I'm being cold or I'm mad at her. I wanted to be the bigger person (even though I didn't think I did anything wrong) so on January 12th, I sent her this email:
I'm wondering if there is some reason why you haven't spoken to me since October? I'm so hurt that someone who I thought was my friend can't even talk to me after all that I have gone through. Every time I see you, it brings the pain and hurt back to me all over again.
Her response? Nothing. No email. No words. NOTHING.
She is now in my classroom. Our homerooms are "partners" and sometimes we combine. She's here with her visibly pregnant belly.
FML
Unbelievable. What an unbelievably shitty day. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteWhat a bitch. Seriously. What kind of person just stops talking to someone?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this is such a terrible day, Kelly. I wish I was there to give you hugs.
Uhhg unreal. People have a strange way of handling things. Sorry you have to have this in your face everyday, it must be really discerning. :(
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, Kelly. It's incredibly sad you have to deal with this:((( I would not bother calling her a friend anymore, that's for sure.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
I am so sorry. To not even respond somehow to your email is just plain mean. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. :(
ReplyDeleteI have to say that she is a real bitch. Who does that????? She is a person who you need to stay the he** away from. She works with you? I hate that. I have had friendships turn sour at work, and that is the worst, as you still have to see them.
ReplyDeleteWhen I miscarried, several of my "friends" decided to stay away from me. One "friend" in particular, whom I really thought would be there for me, told me that I need to get over it and that her friends got over their miscarriages in a day. Ever since, I realized that she is not a true friend.
I think that experiences such as what you have been through give us the opportunity to see who our real friends are. She is not one of them. It is good she hasn't spoken to you. I can't believe she didn't even answer your email.
I am so sorry.
Wow, that's terrible. How terribly hurtful. There are people who make IF harder and sometimes it is necessary to cut them off. She sounds like one of them.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with her? How do you go from one extreme of offering your uterus to a person to just stop talking to them. And then to ignore your email? Perhaps she's afraid that you might want to take her up on the offer and she's changed her mind ??? Just a thought bc nothing else makes sense. What a weird-o. Stay away!
ReplyDeleteKelly I am so sorry you are having this shitty time with a person you have to share space with. Good on you for putting it out there.. and being the bigger person. Now its you time and not time for her anymore.Hugs
ReplyDeleteKelly - so sorry you're having this experience. How ridiculous of her! With what you're going through to have to worry about her & how she feels, etc? Geez.
ReplyDeleteI still don't get it that people just can't treat us normally after we open up to them... Hope she comes around... and with a good explanation!
Hugs too.
Kelly, what a rough patch your in. my heart goes out to you. your 'friend' may not know how to deal with seeing how much you want what she has. but that is still no excuse for not replying to your email. Hope she sorts herself out soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are having such an awful day! She probably felt really guilty about everything and didn't know how to talk to you about it. You did your part by sending her an email. She should have at least responded to you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a better day tomorrow!
What a terrible day:( As previous commenters have said: she's really not much of a friend. It's amazing how people show their true colors when the chips are down. Amazing, and someteims sad.
ReplyDeleteIt never ceases to amaze me how ridiculous some people are. She's not a good friend, she should have at least responded, even if she was uncomfortable. I mean, to just show up with her big ol' belly?! ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteUrgh! How annoying! Sorry you have to endure that cruel and unusual torture! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, I have nothing nice to say about her. I don't understand people sometimes. I don't understand why some people disappear when they learn about our IF our struggles...that's the time when a "friend" should be there. Wtf! The fact that you sent that email and she didn't even respond just shows what a "not nice" person she is. (I would have cursed a lot and called her lots of colorful words but I refrained)
ReplyDeleteOh shit! Wow. What a non-friend if I ever heard of one. Sounds like she's one of those "fair-weather" friends that bails out when the going gets tough. You don't need people like that in your life. Those kind of people are un-authentic and they're cancerous and poisonous to your own health.
ReplyDeleteSome people are just un-f*cking believable. ((HUGS))
That's awful! I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this right now! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteWeird, crazy and uncomfortable situation! I very recently lost a friend too, but at least we don't have to see each other. And weird that she didn't respond to your email. I think sometimes people are so caught up in their own issues, they can't see outside of themselves. But it sounds like your better off.
ReplyDeletegiant (((HUGS)))!!! Really, God, WTF??????
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) Wow. I have found that TTC has really taken a toll on some of my relationships/friendships. Some people can't seem to figure what to do or say around us. I've begun to be ok with "It's them not me" so I will just let them have their thing and if they make it back to me later I guess I will see where my feelings are then. My BF from college (we were later each others maid of honor) hasn't spoken to me since she got pregnant five years ago. I know the pain of the loss and it sucks.
ReplyDeleteugh...sorry about your "fml" day! I agree with all pp about this non-friend, but I'm also wondering how she interacts with you in the same classroom? Does she speak to you at all? Just pretend everything is normal? Or is she distant? Sorry you have to deal with this.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
Oh, how sad. So sorry about losing a friend.
ReplyDeleteiwillbeamom.blogspot.com
I just went through something VERY similar...I lost my VERY best friend and I have no idea why... I wish that I knew... I know it hurts ... and there are no word to make you feel better but when you are around her try your best to be the bigger person and try to act as if everything is ok.... and like your world is great without her friendship... and also lots of kindness to her... sorry for the loss..
ReplyDelete