Monday, April 12, 2010

No Dice

Apparently after four pregnancies, I still have yet to master the art of staying pregnant.

I just got home from a 5.5 hour ER visit. I'm a week and a half behind and my HCG is nowhere near where it should be.

Miscarriage #4 is right around the corner. I was supposed to be fixed. I'm no closer than I am to a sticky bean than I was a year ago.
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62 comments:

  1. AndieApril 12, 2010 at 2:33 AM

    Kelly, I am so so so very sorry.

    Thinking of you.

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  2. LeslieApril 12, 2010 at 6:29 AM

    I am so so sorry!! Many (((hugs))) to you! I will be thinking of you & your DH!

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  3. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 6:39 AM

    I am so very sorry, Kelly. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love.

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  4. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 7:09 AM

    Oh god Kelly. I dont have any words right now that are going to go anyway towards disseminating your pain. There is an unjust, unfair world and its not right that this is where you are right now. Not right at all. I wish I was there and that I could sit with you. I wish I could do anything to make this reality not a reality. I cant though. All I can do is listen. and I will, I promise.

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  5. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 7:29 AM

    Kelly, I'm so, so sorry. It's just not fair. Sending you lots of thoughts and prayers.

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  6. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 7:42 AM

    I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Please know that you in are in my prayers. ((HUGS))

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  7. Mad HatterApril 12, 2010 at 8:04 AM

    Sending love and prayers to you both.

    Love,
    Maddy

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  8. RDApril 12, 2010 at 8:15 AM

    I don't know what to say except I'm sorry and I wish this wasn't happening to you. It's not fair.

    Sending you hugs and lots of love. I'm here if you need me.

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  9. JinApril 12, 2010 at 8:21 AM

    Oh honey no!

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  10. Secret SloperApril 12, 2010 at 8:27 AM

    I'm so sorry, Kelly. I so wanted this to be your take-home baby. This is terrible.

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  11. LuckyOnceApril 12, 2010 at 8:32 AM

    There's nothing that anyone can say to make it better, but I'm thinking of you. I'm so sorry.

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  12. RebeccaApril 12, 2010 at 8:33 AM

    Oh, Kelly, my heart is breaking for you and I just have no words. I'm just so sorry. I'm sending you so many hugs and lots of love, sweetie.

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  13. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 8:34 AM

    I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you.

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  14. AmyApril 12, 2010 at 8:39 AM

    I'm so sorry Kelly. Know you are in my thoughts and you have all of us here to help you get through this. Thinking of you.

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  15. UnknownApril 12, 2010 at 8:52 AM

    I am so sorry to hear this. I will be thinking about you.

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  16. AdeleApril 12, 2010 at 8:54 AM

    Kelly, I'm very, very sorry. I was hoping so HARD for you that this would be it (for you but also for very selfish - and obvious - reasons, for what that would mean for other RPL'ers like me). I'm thinking of you. I wish so much that it didn't have to be this hard.

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  17. LauraApril 12, 2010 at 9:00 AM

    I am so, so sorry. I am praying for you.

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  18. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 9:12 AM

    I am so very sorry. I cannot even imagine the heartbreak you are experiencing after this latest lost. You are in my thoughts and prayers hon. Hugs!

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  19. MarlaApril 12, 2010 at 9:12 AM

    Oh no, Kelly! I am so, so sorry. *hugs & thinking of you* =(

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  20. DawnApril 12, 2010 at 9:16 AM

    Kelly, sorry doesn't seem like enough. My heart is breaking for you right now. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs)))

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  21. LisaApril 12, 2010 at 9:30 AM

    oh man... I am SO sorry Kelly. I am really so so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help you through this ... please know I'm thinking of you.

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  22. AmaprincessApril 12, 2010 at 9:32 AM

    I am so sorry!! I am thinking of you!

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  23. KimApril 12, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    Oh Dear Kelly. Sending lots of loving prayers your way. I am so very sorry.

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  24. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    Oh, honey. I am absolutely heartbroken for you. Nothing about this is fair or right in any way. Please let me know if I can do anything. Sending you tons of love.

    ((hugs))

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  25. myinfertilitywoesApril 12, 2010 at 9:56 AM

    Oh, Kelly. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you lots & lots and sending big (((hugs)))...

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  26. EmmyApril 12, 2010 at 10:01 AM

    Oh no. I'm so sorry.

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  27. TeeJayApril 12, 2010 at 10:27 AM

    I can't believe this happened to you again. I'm so sorry. I know there is nothing that can be said to take away the pain. I am thinking of you and my heart is breaking for you. I'm so, so sorry.

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  28. EbeApril 12, 2010 at 10:39 AM

    Oh, Kelly, I'm so so sorry.
    I'm praying and holding you close to my heart today.

    I'm so sorry.

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  29. HannahApril 12, 2010 at 10:42 AM

    Oh Kelly, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I'll be praying for you!

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  30. JennApril 12, 2010 at 11:25 AM

    Kelly,
    I'm so so sorry. There is really nothing else to say but that.

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  31. Mrs. GamgeeApril 12, 2010 at 11:33 AM

    Oh Kelly, I am so sorry. Thinking of you and saying prayers.

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  32. jessica56April 12, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    Oh my goodness- my heart just breaks for you guys!! This is not fair! My thoughts are with you and hoping that you can get some answers to why you have to keep going through this heart break! I am so, so sorry for your loss.

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  33. ChelleApril 12, 2010 at 11:44 AM

    My heart is absolutely breaking for you. I have no words other than to say that I wish so much that things were turning out differently.

    You are in my thoughts, prayers, and heart.

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  34. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 11:53 AM

    Oh Kelly, my heart is breaking for you & you're in my thoughts!! Giant (((HUGS))) to you & to Mr SC. I know it isn't easy on him either. I'm glad you have him, & we're all here for you for whatever you need!

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  35. Mrs.JoynerApril 12, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    Kelly..there aren't even words and I know sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. If you need anything, even just to vent and cry and scream..Please email me. Im here, and you are very heavy in my heart today.

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  36. AlexApril 12, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    Oh no - I am so very sorry. Sending a prayer to you right now...

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  37. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 1:42 PM

    I'm so so sorry Kelly. I'm thinking about you. ((hugs))

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  38. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    Kelly, I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  39. Glass Case of EmotionApril 12, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    Oh Kelly, I am so so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it easier. This just sucks. It's so unfair.

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  40. NixyApril 12, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    I am so very sorry.

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  41. TApril 12, 2010 at 2:08 PM

    Oh Kelly, my heart is breaking for you. I know that nothing I can say would be any consulation, but I really do care. I am so very sorry!

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  42. BrownirisApril 12, 2010 at 2:38 PM

    Kelly, I am so sorry to hear this devastating news. Big Hugs!!!

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  43. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    I'm here for you Kelly. In whatever possible way I can be, I'm here. Please know that. I don't have the right words for you. I don't. But know that I send every ounce of my love your way.

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  44. adsfApril 12, 2010 at 4:05 PM

    So, so sorry. :(

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  45. Melissa GApril 12, 2010 at 4:14 PM

    Oh Kelly, I'm so very sorry.

    Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

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  46. AndreaApril 12, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Sending you love and prayers this very moment. I ask myself how much can one sweet person take...the answer, more than we think, more than we think. I wish I could come and hug you in person, as I have been where you were in that visit and it breaks my heart for you. *tears*

    Praying for you and your husband...lifting you up.

    We WILL be here for you...whatever you need.

    Much Love
    xo

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  47. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 5:18 PM

    That just totally sucks!!!! My heart is just broken for you. :(

    I hope that there can be some testing done to see why you keep miscarrying. There has to be a reason!

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  48. CeejayApril 12, 2010 at 5:25 PM

    Oh, Kelly, I'm devastated to hear this. I really thought this was going to be the one. This is unbelievably heartbreaking. I wish I could come cry with you in person, but I'll cry with you from far away--and pray for you.

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  49. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 5:53 PM

    Kelly, I am SOOOOO sorry! This is absolutely horrible. I'll be thinking about you!

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  50. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 6:11 PM

    Oh, Kelly. I'm so sorry. I am just devastated for you. You'll be in my thoughts and please know that there are so many people praying for you and your angels.

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  51. AnonymousApril 12, 2010 at 9:07 PM

    Oh no. I'm so sorry.

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  52. MichelleApril 12, 2010 at 9:34 PM

    Kelly, I wish I had words to ease the pain. Take care of yourself.

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  53. Amy and DerekApril 12, 2010 at 10:29 PM

    I'm so sorry. I stumbled upon your blog at the beginning of the new year. I also have suffered three losses and had the lap/hysterscopy surgery to remove uterine adhesions (and the balloon) in February. I was so hopeful for you that this would be a successful pregnancy. I'm also a teacher, so I've really identified with many of the same struggles. I hope you get through the next few days. My thoughts are with you. Take care.

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  54. erikaApril 12, 2010 at 10:47 PM

    Oh, Kelly, it's just heartbreaking:(
    Thinking about you.

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  55. AishaApril 12, 2010 at 11:03 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss *hugs* Thinking of you during this difficult time.

    LFCA

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  56. KatieApril 13, 2010 at 12:22 AM

    I am so very sorry. Miscarriage is awful. Recurrent miscarriage is just. . . there aren't words.

    Thinking of you.

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  57. AliceApril 13, 2010 at 12:28 AM

    Oh Kelly, my heart aches for you. I am so very sorry. I know I can't make things any better for you and I am so sorry you have to go through this again. There is nothing fair about it. Sending my prayers and love...

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  58. AnonymousApril 13, 2010 at 4:08 AM

    I'm so very very sorry. I've been where you are now and I know and understand the pain you're feeling. Big huge hugs.

    xxx

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  59. MeAndBabyApril 13, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    Here from LFCA and just wanted to say how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. Thinking of you.

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  60. cdgApril 13, 2010 at 12:45 PM

    I am here for LFCA and wanted to send love your way and let your know how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my baby boy last week at 15 weeks. It is so heartbreaking. Keeping you in my thoughts.

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  61. MoApril 13, 2010 at 5:48 PM

    Kelly,

    I'm here from LFCA. I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm a recurrent miscarrier too and I know how hard it is to have loss after loss with no answers in sight. Thinking of you and sending you strength.

    Mo

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  62. WendyApril 19, 2010 at 3:21 PM

    Oh Kelly my heart just sank reading this. I am so so sorry that you are going through this again - I know there are no words of comfort that can help right now - but just know that a lot of the women here are praying for you and thinking of you - it's something that no one can understand unless they've gone through heartbreak and disappointment, and this time is no different, just makes picking yourself back up that much more of a climb. But you can do it and we'll be right next to you when you're ready. Hang in there ((hugs))

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