T-Minus 3 Hours...

I can't sleep.

I've been up since 4.

I've been playing Bejewel.ed Blitz on FB (doesn't sit well with trying to relax and get back to sleep.)

I can't believe it's almost time.

It's probably going to take a quadruple does (yes, I'm serious) of Immodi.um to even get me there.

Every other u/s in my history hasn't been good. Well, the docs may have said that some of them were, but I was always a day or two behind. Well within the margin of error is what they would tell me. In the pit of my stomach though, I was always fearful.

My worst case scenario here for this morning? That I'm measuring a bit behind and there's no HB detected. This happened to me the last time at 6w2d. I was measuring 6w and there wasn't a HB. My doc told me it was over. A day later, we saw the HB. The woman at the u/s facility that day (who did my follow-up scan) had told me that so early on, many times the machines in offices aren't as sophisticated to pick up a HB yet.

So that's my fear. That I'll be sent into limbo for a week.

You may think that's odd. With my history, wouldn't having another m/c be the worst? Yes, in the long run. However, a mind fuck of a week of limbo will be too much for me.

I am just hoping beyond hope that this is it. I feel silly almost saying this, but I just have a feeling that this time, it's different and it will be ok. I'm a worrier by nature though, so I wouldn't expect anything different from me.

Your encouragement over the last few days has been so helpful to me. I hope you can stop by later and read my happy follow-up post.