Friday, May 6, 2011

Sour and Sweet

This post is a post about this weekend.  You all know what I'm talking about...the annoying FB reposts (already?  seriously?), the commercials, the movies being advertised on TV networks tomorrow....  YUCK.  BARF.

So, Mr SC and I went out to eat last night.  I checked out their menu online in advance and was surprised at what I could eat.  Our server was a sweet woman, who was great while we were there (you know...not too in your face but there just enough).  After she came back to bring our change when we were finished, she looked at me and said words out loud to me that no one else has ever uttered.

"Happy Mother's Day", she said with a kind smile.

Almost instantly (but somehow after she turned around), I lost it at the table.  I know she was being kind because of my growing belly, but my tears were more from so many other things.  I was crying for all of you.  I was crying for the Mother's Day two years ago (seriously?  two years?) when I was pregnant (with what became our second m/c) after our first loss.  I thought that one was a fluke and was so happy.  I was crying for the four lives that at one point were growing inside me but never made it.   Although I'm so thankful to be pregnant now, I don't know if I will ever be able to see Mother's Day as a day without pain.

So, although I'm not saying it out loud, I'm still saying it to all of you:  Happy Mother's Day.   Happy Mother's Day to all of you who hold the dreams of a baby in your heart or a baby in your arms, to those of you who have someone who looks to you as a mom and to those of you who are furmoms.

Thinking of all of you this weekend.

14 comments:

  1. You are very sweet and this post made me cry. I'm sure (I'm hoping) that next year, when your little one is in your arms, you will not have as much pain for Mother's day as you do now. I know you will never forget the pain but I hope that Mother's day will take on a whole new meaning for you when you are holding and kissing your baby.

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  2. What a cute waitress! I'm hoping someone someday soon says that to me too....

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  3. Thank you, sweetie. And, Happy Mother's Day to you. For all those reasons.

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  4. So very sweet! This post made me cry! Mother's Day will always be fraught for us infertiles--I'll never forget those years of trying when it was excruciatingly painful not to be part of the celebration yet--but I hope this year you can start to enjoy it a little. Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  5. thanks friend! :) I got tears reading it, because I hope someday I'll be where you are!

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  6. Such a bittersweet moment. Thank you for the thoughts. Happy mother's day to you too (*hugs*)

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  7. That was so incredibly beautiful and sweet. I'm over here with tears in my eyes.

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  8. Thanks for your kind thoughts. Even though this was bitter-sweet for you, I'm glad you had some sweet with the bitter. :-)

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  9. Thank you. Receiving cards this year has been wicked strange, and yes, bittersweet.

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  10. This was so sweet, and made me cry too. Thank you

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  11. Beautiful, heartfelt post, Kelly. I couldn't have said it better myself but I have all of those feelings swirling around as well. xo

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  12. Such sweet words Kelly...my heart too cries for my fellow infertiles and baby loss mom's on this day.

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  13. What a sweet post. I had the same reaction at a restaurant yesterday. We were with friends, and someone came by with roses, and asked "are you a mother?" I started crying... I hate that there's a day which reminds people so much of where they've been, and what they've yet to have.

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  14. The day brought mixed emotions for me last year when I was pregnant and even this year with a 7-month old baby girl. I think it always will because of how miscarriage changes us. Hope you enjoyed the day and celebrated this new life!

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