Playing by the Rules

Yesterday I finally went to a new, regular doctor (sometimes referred to as a PCP or GP). When I relocated over three years ago I had found one but she relocated. I then found another and she left the practice. My old gyno had taken over my medications but I know that I need a regular doctor.

I really liked her. She listened about my not sleeping and anxiety, which was helpful. I'm scared though. I have genetically high cholesterol. It just is. I was put on medication when I was 25, which helped. However, I was told not to even touch medications while TTC. I asked my doctor if there could be a number (level) that it comes back as which would cause her to sit down with me and tell me that I need to think about my priorities (ie. not TTC so I can take medications). She said yes. Yikes. So, we'll see. Especially after my testing at SIRM comes back, if my doctor recommends IVF with PGD, we'll be on a break until at least next summer so I may very well go back on that medication until then.

We had a long talk, my doctor and I. I came to the realization that I pretty much rebelled against everything. So many of us have talked about how we felt that we have always played by the rules and yet it got us nowhere. I realized yesterday that I feel this way about everything. When I hate super healthy and worked out religiously, my body still didn't listen and my cholesterol was still elevated. My losses are yet another example of this.

I started yesterday trying to take small steps to reclaim myself and my body. It may have only been one day, but I ate very well and had a minimal amount of calories. Weight loss is dreadful for me because of my thyroid condition, but you have to start somewhere.

Tomorrow is my saline ultrasound at SIRM. I'm very nervous but thanks to all of you, I'm more prepared and know exactly what to expect. Thank you so much for that.