Ah, insomnia. Well, at least I didn't wake up with swine flu. I was feeling all day yesterday like impeding doom...I took cold medicine before I went to bed (um, isn't that supposed to knock me out??) and woke up not feeling any worse. YAY! My students (and colleagues, for that matter) were dropping like flies in school.
First, I get why labels are bad and that we shouldn't feel confined/defined by them. But in all seriousness...I'm not sure where I fit.
We've been TTC for 13 cycles (since 7/08). My cycles are on the longer side (33-35ish days) but with our losses, some of those cycles were a little longer than the usual longer.
According to my doc, I fit the label "AMA". When she said this at first I was puzzled (again, it was at my disasterous prenatal visit)...um, American Medical Association? But I'm a teacher??? Thanks to the wonderful ladies who pointed out earlier that AMA is a silly label. After all, since I just turned 35, shouldn't it be more like AAMA??? ALMOST advanced maternal age?? Oh right, I'm not pg anymore...so I guess it doesn't matter.
Anyway, three losses brings me to the RPL label. YUCK. If I'm able to get pg though (and just not STAY pg), is that IF? I'm not sure what exactly it is I'm struggling with, except for that all of this just plain sucks. I'm really just asking because there have been a few times, whether I'm commenting on a blog or posting myself, that it's come up in my head. I wasn't sure what to put for the three words to describe my blog for ICLW. I also don't want to come across as insensitive...my struggle with RPL is different, but still painful. After my first two losses my doctor (who I do love) said to me, "well, the GOOD news is that you can get pg". Um, ok. Seriously though, if someone can cook but it tastes like complete shit, what's the point?
I just read through your blog, and your story touches my heart..We have RPL as well, we lost our babies in 12/08, 03/09/ 07/09, and 08/09. My PCP was terrible, who made the "we know you can get pregnant" comment. So I know how ridiculous that is. And after 4 losses, I considered us in the IF world. It was nice to see Im not the only person struggling with this. Thank you for sharing. I will be following along =)
ReplyDeleteThank you. It helps knowing that someone else out there can relate to what we're going through.
ReplyDeleteKelly, visit: http://www.resolve.org/site/PageServer?pagename=lrn_wii_home. According to Resolve, yes, you would fit into the category of infertility.
ReplyDeleteAlso, something I've learned from my support group is that even once you conceive and carry a child, you are still considered to be infertile.
Dear Kelly. I'm touched by your story. I guess all those acronyms would be applicable for me too...I just wanted to say (as I can tell from your writing) that you are so much more than an AMA or a RPL, you are a sassy, beautiful woman! I know the journey is hard. It's easy to remember that we are so much more than the stats on a chart.I wish you great success and happiness. Happy ICWL. http://romancingthestone.wordpress.com Shell
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post. I am wondering what my label is as well.
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