I've been gearing up as much as I could today to return to work tomorrow. I've been catching up on grading, planning, etc. Earlier I was at such a better place in my head.
For the past two hours, I can't get myself to stop shaking and my heart to stop racing. I don't know if I can go back tomorrow. Gosh that would be FIVE DAYS. Plus, I was out four days earlier this year already (for those of you who knew, the 1st time this pregnancy when we were told we were going to lose the baby and didn't).
What am I afraid of? I'm going to look like complete hell. I'm not a good faker. At all. People and kids are going to be talking about me and asking how I am/where I was. I don't know if I can answer those questions. I dont' have faith in myself to be able to answer those questions. I had planned on blowing it off and saying the flu (for those of you who are teachers, you probably know the blow-off approach I'm talking about when a kid asks something you'd rather not talk about). I don't know if have that in me yet.
You need to do what's best for you, Kelly. If you aren't ready, you don't have to go. You need to take care of yourself first, and not worry about anyone else. I hope that, whatever you decide, tomorrow is not a super stressful day. (((hugs)))
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