Significant Others: I've been thinking quite some time about how the men in our lives handle all of this. 95% of dealing with infertility rests with the female. Even if there is a diagnosis of MFI, the treatments, procedures, screenings aren't nearly as extensive (or invasive, imho) as for females. Do you think that makes this all easier for them or more difficult for them (or just different)? Even if males have difficulty with things, where do they turn for support? If women don't talk about IF IRL, males talk about it even less. I think there are only two blogs that I follow where males are the authors. How on earth do they cope without a support system?
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Better Now: I loved all the funny things that you posted and the things that you shared that you loved. :) I laughed hard for a while and the distraction certainly helped!
Things are better. I did also want to tell you that I could go in for a scan any day (weekends, too). They have time set aside each morning for patients that can just drop in. However, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be able to be better in my head without having to see an u/s. For now, I just have to wait for more days.
Overall, too, I'm feeling good. I've only felt as if I were going to be sick a few times, but my stomach never feels good. It almost feels like I drank sour milk or something. The only time it feels better is when I eat. I'm having trouble with that, though. Food isn't particularly appealing, except for tomato sauce. I eat spaghetti of some form at least once a day.
Glad to hear that you're feeling better my lovely.
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I'm glad you're feeling better! Guessing from the time stamp on the post, you're also waking up in the middle of the night with sneak nausea attacks?
ReplyDeleteAlso glad you are feeling better. I have no idea how guys deal with this. I think that they have an ability to compartimentalize different aspects of their life much more than we do. I think it helps my DH at least.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling better! Idk how guys do it. I tend to think every male is like my hubby (which isn't true) and I don't think it affects him nearly as much as me. He's all like "we'll be fine, it'll work out"...and I'm always bawling thinking it's the end of the world.
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ReplyDeleteGlad your feeling better about things. Spaghetti is a yummy food and I'm glad your able to tolerate it ;)
ReplyDeleteRight now all you can do is eat what yoou can tolerate. It will change with time. In a few more days you will see your blob again, and it will be even bigger and beating away :) HUGS.
ReplyDeleteGreat point about the men. Part of me thinks they just aren't impacted the same way - it's not like they have to check the TP for EWCM or spotting...
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're feeling a little better, and were able to be distracted. I admire your resolve in waiting for an u/s, but also am glad to hear that you feel so at peace about it.
Counting down with you.
My husband appears to cope by NOT talking about it. Either he's very good at pretending it's not happening or he's much better at compartmentalising things!
ReplyDeleteim glad you are feeling better! & eat what you can tolerate right now! :)
ReplyDeletelove that you can tomato sauce tho, mine was yoohoo. yes the gross choclate drink no food, just yoohoo! hahahaha
I don't know how guys deal with it either. My hubby talks to me and I *think* he talks with his brother and a friend. He's mentioned talking to them before. I would like to be a fly on the wall for those convos! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your stomach feels icky! Baby likes spahgetti - that is funny! I say eat whatever little bean wants :-)
I think men don't always need to process things to the same extent we do. It does feel strange to think about that, but they have different needs, and different brains.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling more confident. I look forward to hearing the news on your scan later this week.
Glad to hear you're hanging in there and feeling better.
ReplyDeleteWhen do you think you'll go for your next appointment?
So glad to hear that you're feeling better! I don't know how guys handle it - mine won't talk about IF most of the time... We do have a couple of friends that are IF, and I've caught the guys talking - sharing tips like "if you're sperm sample comes back good, don't celebrate too much!" from personal experience...
ReplyDeleteHang in there, and eat lots of spaghetti!
We (men and women) are in the same game, but not playing the same roles - that is how I see it.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to see things are going well for you, my dear friend. Thinking about you a lot! ♥
My DH claims that he just doesn't have any emotions and that's how he copes. I honestly wonder sometimes if any of this bothers him at all. He hates that it makes me hurt, but other than that I can't tell that it makes any difference to him. It's a little frustrating, but I guess it's good to have someone who is functioning...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad things are feeling better and I'm sending all the positive vibes I've got!
I'm so glad you're feeling better. I'm coming up on the 3rd trimester and I still have moments each day where I fear the heartbeat has stopped. We rented a doppler online at babybeat and we listen to the heartbeat each dday. It really helps!
ReplyDeleteMy husband would talk alot to his brother...and some other friends of his too...He was really open about it but considering how much IF and losses were part of our life how could he avoid not talking about it I guess?
ReplyDeleteIm glad you are feeling better:) You will def have those days of feeling unsure but just let it out and it will make you feel better!!!
I have always concluded that it just doesn't bother my DH as much as it bothers me. i think he's never let himself entertain the idea that we wont have a baby. I dont know.
ReplyDeleteKelly, I'm so glad you are doing well, which is a strange thing to say about a funny tummy! But I think it's a good sign, especially the needing to eat bit. My fingers are double (and triple) crossed for you. And if you feel the need to go in earlier, that is NOT weakness. I would understand it 100%.
ReplyDeleteI think in some ways it's just as tough for the menfolk, to be honest. We're often in a helpless position, but they're not only in a helpless position, they're standing on the sidelines watching as we are repeatedly battered. Not to mention that their grief us considered somehow secondary to ours. I dunno. Physically, hands down, we get the short end of the stick. But on the emotional front, I think it's a fairly shared burden.
So glad you're feeling better and you're doing well. You're one strong woman to avoid that ultrasound machine for so long! You rock!
ReplyDeleteHoping and praying all is well with the bubs and that you'll have beautiful memories from your upcoming scan. xx
I hear you on the stomach upset! My digestive system has definitely been the biggest casualty of my pregnancy, at least so far. I can also totally relate to making yourself wait for the u/s. I think that kind of discipline in the midst of anxiety helps us learn to deal with anxiety better overall. We have to train ourselves to wait through it sometimes!
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