Mr SC and I often share a computer. So, this morning, I did some dishes, put in a load of wash, got a glass of juice and sat down to read blogs, check out FB (you know, the usual stuff). When I pull up FB, hubs is logged in. Ok, fine. This allows me to see his wall however and is the root of my frustration this morning.
Mr SC has a stepbrother. Stepbrother has been arrested for DUI several times and assault. He barely can hold a job, is recently divorced from his wife (they married when they were 20, when he was still using drugs regularly) and now is in an on-again, off-again relationship where he stars as the abuser in the relationship. (Seriously. The last time they were "off", the ex posted online about how glad she was to be free of all the violence and abuse.)
Of course, he has two children. They're great kids, in spite of everything. They're 14 and 12, I believe. Stepbrother is 35. He had just posted a new pic of his two kids with his sister's 1 year old (in case you don't remember, this is the stepSIL who shared my original due date with me from my first miscarriage).
There's this whole string of comments with his pics. It's an exchange of about four people. Some of the comments are:
"I'm so glad I started early! I'm almost free in my 30's!"
"Yes, no old parent bullshit for me! "
"Yes, child will be going to college next year. I'm 35 and free!" (for the record, I had this child in class and there is no hope of said child going to college)
"Why would you want to still have kids in your 50's?"
I am livid. First, why do people make statements like believing when their child is 18 they are "free"? Really, stepbrother? Your dad hasn't been bailing you out repeatedly with money, driving you to work when you lost your license, etc? Um, the last time I checked, this was still going on last year and you are in your 30's!
Also, it just seems so careless to me. Sure, you can have a child physically (and technically) at 17 (or earlier) but really...what can you offer that child? But hey, it's worth it because you can party in your 30's!
The kicker...stepbrother's status update is how his son starts junior high wrestling season today with an all day tournament. His words? "JH wrestling season with an all day tourney today and I'm going hungover. Should make for a long day"
WHO SAYS THAT??
Oh, goodness, soooo not free when they turn 18, LOL. And if they are so excited to be rid of them now, maybe they shouldn't have had them to begin with! Grr. I get the frustration.
ReplyDeleteOMG that would make me livid too!!!!!!!!! But I always think of the great things about having a child in our 30's (hopefully for me). We're obviously completely ready. Want a child more than anything. Are more mature, more patient and I think we'll be better parents. Now my SIL has 3 and she's only 24 or 25 and she's a great mom so I can't say anything bad about them. But I just have to think of what would be good about having them later. I know we'll be more prepared (I think better parents). And those comments are completely tacky.
ReplyDeleteoh I SOOOO agree!!! :) Granted, we are not as old as my parents were when they adopted my brother and I, but I'm all for having older parents! My parents had been married 17 years when they adopted me at 37. They had owned their own business for like 9, and were very successful. My dad had to trade in his Porsche 911 for a BMW that could put a car seat in. (poor guy). But seriously, my Dad owned the business so my parents could take off whenever they wanted to come eat lunch with me, or had a field trip, or play at school (in fourth grade, my one and ONLY acting experience was me being 'chip' in Beauty and the Beast). My Mom took 18 months off to stay at home with me, and then if she needed to run in to do payroll or whatever, she just took me up to my Dad's office, and I got to sit with him. Granted, my parents are 63 and still have a Sophmore in college (my little bro)... I look back at our marriage (and when I wanted to have kids-right after we were married), and there is NO way we would have been prepared, emotionally-financially-any way.... We are going to be SUCH better parents now, because we've grown up, grown together, and grown deeper in love (and respect), just ad I'm sure you and Mr. SC have. Sorry, this got long, but overall. I COMPLEATLY AGREE WITH YOU!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh man, that fires me up! People are ridiculous!! *rolls eyes*
ReplyDeleteYou are justified in your thoughts. As one of those that will be a parent in their 50's, I just thank God every day for the opportunity!
ReplyDeleteSome things just come too easily for those people with all the opinions and advice. Older parents are wiser, more prepared financialy, well established and have more patience. They love deeper and appreciate their children more...or at least that is my observation :)
Take good care of you Kelly and to heck with all the BS.
Don't let this to get to you! this is sooooo not your level. Sorry about it!:(
ReplyDeleteSo obnoxious! I hate having to deal with young selfish parents all day at work! It's annoying! At least us old parents got to get the "freedom party side out of our system when we were young and it was appropriate! Losers! :)
ReplyDeleteI get totally ticked all of the time too when I come across the parents of the kids I teach that are TOTAL LOSERS!! I love how I have to go under scrutiny of a home study to prove I'm 'fit', while the majority of the world can procreate at their leisure. And many of them, have no idea of the treasures they have. Yes, they are out of your league...meaning...yes I"m judgmental here....but soooo below you. All you can do is be there for the kids, and model amazing parenthood and responsibility with yours. And you will. Unreal when we come across these things!
ReplyDeleteUngh. Some people are stupid.
ReplyDeleteInfuriating for sure. It's bad enough that's he's a complete douchebag, but to actually say what he's thinking on Facebook is even worse. I'm sorry. We can't pick our family, right?
ReplyDeleteUgh, that made me so mad reading it too! It really does show how ignorant they are and honestly the people I know who were older when they started their families were more prepared and better parents all around because they were ready for their children, they were more mature, and financially secure. As someone who will also be older when having our children I feel secure in knowing that we are fully prepared to be there for our children both emotionally and financially and it sounds like thats a whole lot more than your stepbrother is doing!
ReplyDeleteI ddin't realize you were pg! So excited for you. And yes, who the f*ck says that???
ReplyDeleteUgh. Seriously, I teach college kids and the thought of about 99% of them being "ready" is laughable -- either to be "cut loose" or parents themselves. You know what? People who are 35 and "ready" to party have no idea how much more fun it was to party when you were 25 and could actually RECOVER from partying!!!
ReplyDeleteNot even addressing the rest of that crap. It's so annoying I want to skap someone...
There are just no words I have that could explain without swearing what I think of this post [not you posting but the content] and so I shall remain silent.
ReplyDeleteYou have my hugs AND my sympathies tho my friend...
~x~
That's some pretty rough facebook posting...some people just shock me!
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable! Parents in their 30's and 40's are so much better than children raising children...
ReplyDeleteUgh. I hate people!!!
ReplyDeleteHaha, I agree with Rebecca. People who talk about partying hard now missed out on true partying in their 20s--they have no idea what they missed! Oh, and my personal favorite is "No old parent bullshit for me!" What does that even mean?
ReplyDeleteAll joking aside, those comments are beyond obnoxious. Barf.
Oh my word, that is just awful. And an excellent example of why I don't use FB. I can't stand reading the stupid crap people post on there. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteA super sh*t-tastic parent, that who says it.
ReplyDeleteIdiots.
ummm....OK, had to share this.
ReplyDeleteMy word verification for that last comment:
"turds"
REALLY?!?
ha!
An idiot says that. Really.
ReplyDeleteYou know what I think? I think all of that FB posturing is overcompensation. For people who started early and, er, carelessly, they have to hold onto the fact that the babymaking is behind them. Because in many - though, not all - cases, that's all they've got.