We have our consultation with our new doctor at the She.r Institute on Thursday. This Thursday. I have been dealing with an overwhelming sense of dread. I'm doing better. I'm trying to be me. Not even thinking about the TTC stuff has allowed myself (and Mr SC) to start to try to get back to us. The us that is so happy. Hell, in my head, I'm thinking about even ever trying again. Why? Because why should we? We're happy. All TTC is for us is a huge enormous crapshoot. I feel like our odds right now of having that blissfully childfilled family are about as high right now of hitting the Powe.rball jackpot.
I came to the realization though that I need to know. I have a right to know. There's no way that these losses, all being sooo similar, were just a coincidence. There has to be something wrong with my body that's causing me to lose babies, especially after my little beans fought to stay alive and after we were told it was over, that their hearts started beating.
Thank you, Betty, for helping me realize this. She's going through things all of her own and was having similar feelings, all for different reasons though. I had actually picked up the phone today to cancel the appointment. I'm so glad I didn't.
You do have the right to know and I hope you find out why very soon!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I wanted to cancel my RE appointment too. The process is daunting, but we journey on. I'm praying you get the answers you deserve and are surrounded by capable, caring Dr's and staff.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and be good to you
Many Hugs
You do have a right to know and I am so happy that Betty helped you to realize this. Good luck, Kelly. I'm thinking of you. Please let me know if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteThis community rocks. I'm so glad you were able to realize you deserve this answer from Betty. (she rocks too).
ReplyDeleteGet your answers and then make a decision about how you want to proceed with them.
Much luck.
I wonder if they will do the Killer Cells test on you. Have you done that one before? (http://kimfreitas.blogspot.com/2010/03/dr-zealous.html) You do deserve answers and I hope you get them.
ReplyDeleteI so understand what you mean about "leaving well enoug alone" but if your heart can handle it, if you can get past this, you just might be getting ready to turn a corner and I bet yoou'll be happy you did.
xoxoxoxoxox
Hoping you find the answers you are looking for. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Jo
Are you going to the Sher in north Jersey? I have thought about that as well. I think it's a good idea to at least find out more, especially since we are located fairly near to a Sher Institute. This way you can at least KNOW. I am very interested to see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteI so hope that you get some answers. You're right, something has to be causing this and you just need to know what it is. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteYou do deserve answers. Of this I am sure.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you get the answers that you are so very deserving of.
ReplyDeleteI am sure the Sher Institue will turn up the answers. You do deserve to know and I do not believe it is coincidence.
ReplyDeleteI really relate to the feeling of just wanting to give up and walk away, and just be happy in your marriage/life.
You DO have the right to know and I am crossing everything for your Thursday consult, that they will look at things a little bit differently, and that they will get a handle on this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you - things went too similarly, and got too far. There has to be an explanation that has been missed until now.
So glad you still have your appointment, and praying that you can get some answers!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you kept your appointment as you do have the right to know. It sucks to hear it (I cried all during my appointment with the infertility nurse lady who went over my test results with me-there were a lot of issues ;), but you have to get the answers, otherwise you'll always be wondering what if. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteI just had to say--I had a TERRIBLE experience with Sh.er (well, ok, one good RE who left, one incompetent one who was fired, and one pure evil one who we left). I really hope they give you the answers you need, but might I suggest doing a consult with another clinic as well? I just had to say it because I wish I'd left them for another RE so much sooner...but again, really hope your experience there is better than mine was!
ReplyDeleteWillow, I've already been seeing an RE and wanted to go to a doctor that specifically has a background in recurrent loss, which is something most REs don't have. There were a few good clinics near where I live but no doctors that I found that were known for their RPL work.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely deserve answers!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. Wishing you gentle days and some answers too.
ReplyDelete