We have our u/s tomorrow morning to check on our little girl since I'm measuring a bit ahead. I'm trying not to worry about it and am looking forward to the chance to see our baby again. Then, I have my glucose testing. I'm all set with a new book and my iPod (hey, hey...I'm trying to be positive)
The waiting room for the MFM doctor at the hospital shares a waiting room with my old RE's office. My appointment is at 8am, which is when the waiting room will be packed with the first come, first served patients for my RE before they officially open at 9.
I remember being in that waiting room, countless times. To see if my baby was still growing, to confirm miscarriages, to wait for the administration of the cytotec when the miscarriages were confirmed. There are hopeful couples in that waiting room, too. For follie checks and other ART procedures.
And there I will sit with my 7 months pregnant belly.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for those couples who will be in that waiting room and will be hurt by seeing me.
What kind of hellish setup is that? I remember how much I hated going into the RE after our BFP all chipper and pukey...awkward...good luck!
ReplyDeleteIt is so thoughtful that you posted this and are aware. Loss never leaves you, no matter what your journey becomes. It's almost like you wish you could wear a sign saying..."I get it...trust me".
ReplyDeleteHoping all goes well. Enjoy the scan!!! :)
I can't believe they share a waiting room! I probably would have switched RE's based on that alone. When I was waiting at my OB's today, this girl came in and told the receptionist she had been to see my first RE (who told me I had a 1% chance of ever getting pregant) and I overheard her saying she didn't want to go back to him and was trying to get a post op appointment with the OB. I wanted to run after her and give her my 2nd and wonderful RE's name but I just knew my pregnant belly probably hurt her. Don't you just want to hug every infertile you see?
ReplyDeleteHope all goes well tomorrow!
Wow, what a horrible pairing of waiting rooms!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your little girl tomorrow.
That is ridiculous that they share a waiting room. I think it's nice that you're at least conscious of how it feels to be on the other side, but you've been through so much do not feel bad. Good luck at the appointments tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI remember having similar thoughts when I was pregnant. My OB also "specialized" in Infertility (such a joke) and there were times when I was waiting with someone who was there to do some of the very things you mentioned in your post.
ReplyDeleteI spent so much emotional energy worrying about everyone else while I was pregnant. It's hard when you've been on "the other side" of things. But remember this is your time. ((hugs))
It is so good of you to be sensitive to this. When I go to my RE (who is also an OB), I remind myself that most of his patients either had fertility challenges or are high-risk. It helps me feel less jealous. But I still don't make eye contact with the ones with big bellies.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! Beautiful! I think that even being in my OB's office waiting room, you are soooo sweet to be so considerate. I see people that stare at my bump some days and it's not like an "awww, she's pregnant", sometimes I think "wow, I wonder if my story could help her" b/c I remember having that look on my face so many times! It's a hard thing to be on the other side and be so sensitive to how others feel, but I feel blessed to know both sides and be able to be sensitive to others! You are such a doll and I'm praying that your u/s is just fun and that you pass the glucose test too!
ReplyDeleteAh, I appreciate your compassion.
ReplyDeleteYikes! What an awful setup. I'd be feeling bad too--on either side of the waiting room.
ReplyDeleteUrrrrrgh. I once had to sit in a waiting room for 45 minutes to confirm a miscarriage with other people doing IVF. Not as bad as sharing with an OB office, but still a bit odd (I felt like curling up and sobbing but just couldn't as I knew it would freak out everyone else).
ReplyDeleteThey SERIOUSLY need a private waiting room....everywhere!! I remember sitting and waiting at the OB's for the okay to head over to the hospital for my D&C whilst there were pregnant woman sitting all around me laughing and joking. It was horrible. Let's see...I had to do that 3 times now.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the glucose test. I had gestational diabetes and it sucked. I just know I am going to get it again.
(((((Hugs)))))) What a terrible set up. Your heart is so big, Kelly. Sometimes things are just plain awkward. I hope you get in quickly.
ReplyDeleteugh, what a horrible setup!
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the glucose test, i hope you pass!
What an awful set up. I wish we could wear signs telling people our history. Maybe we could... would that be weird?
ReplyDeleteYou're so sweet, Kelly. I really hope you get great news tomorrow!
My gosh I feel the same way at my doctor's office. Same set-up. I feel like I need to hide just in case there's an IF patient there. I'll toast a big glass of sugary goodness to your glucose test; I'm sure you'll pass!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I nominated you for an award so if you feel up to it you can come over to my blog to check it out!
Wow..that is a suck-ass waiting room setup. Sucks to know you will hurt people but you were also in their shoes at one time.. except they don't know that. Gahh.. why why would they not have seperate waiting rooms!
ReplyDeleteYou are the coolest and most thoughtful pregnant girl I know. I love this about you and that's why I'm able to still follow your blog even though you're on the "other side" now. THANK YOU - THANK YOU for never forgetting. =)
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I meet the eyes of a very pregnant woman. Usually, she's caught ME doing a wistful stealth glance at her tummy. Sometimes she just smiles. But sometimes, she gives me a look of such understanding that I just have a funny feeling that she knows. That she's been there herself.
ReplyDeleteI hope today went great, Kelly. That everything measures beautifully.