Each day that goes by brings something new these days with our little Nitt.any Lion and, just when we think we have it figured out, it changes. :) One thing that hasn't changed is A's sleeping through the night. She sleeps about eight hours a night!
I headed to the doctor this week for a physical and to talk about cholesterol. I've had a history of high cholesterol and had been on medication for it since I was 25. It's genetic and, even when I was working out six days a week and eating no meat and almost no cholesterol, it was still super high. Anyway, TTC ended the meds three years ago. Now, I've learned that it's back up there. No doubt that the gestational diabetes added to it, too. Mr SC and I talked about it and decided I should go back on meds, now. This means no more breastfeeding. I've been breast and bottle-feeding because I never quite produced enough (even with trying a variety of different things) but I'm still pretty upset about it. I had wanted to continue until she was five months old. It's important for Baby A to have her mother alive and healthy though, so it's what I have to do.
Something else I've been kicking around is whether or not to make the blog private. I didn't really want to go private but, for those of you who are interested, I did want to share pics of Baby A. I decided not to go private for the time being and, for those of you who want to keep up with things, we could be friends on FB. I know that's a worlds colliding thing and all that, but honestly, there are several of you who I think of often and would love to keep better connected. You'll have to send me an email though because you can't find me on FB from an email search.
Finally, hubs and I were asked to be interviewed for an article about infertility in a central Pennsylvania parent's magazine. I really want to do it but I'm hesitant to have my name attached to the article. I'm a teacher and I'm always fearful of parents and kids knowing too much about my personal life. I'm wondering though if an interview from someone who wishes to remain anonymous just reinforces the isolation and stigma of IF. Thoughts?
Try not to feel bad about having to stop bfing - at least she got the colostrum and a couple months of breast milk - that is huge! You're right- you need to be healthy yourself as well.
ReplyDeleteA question about going private - since you don't share your real name/location/anything on here anyway, what is your hesitation for sharing pics of A? Just curious!
I get not wanting your students/parents to know too much about your personal life, but I also feel like IF a whole different ball game. It's not like them seeing pics of you drunk at a bar. I really think you should consider attaching your name to it and giving your IF struggle a voice. That's my opinion, take it or leave it of course. :)
I understand the need for privacy as a teacher. When we were matched last december, I got the call in class. My principal knew we were expecting the call, and that when it happened, I was going to step out and let the student teacher take over. It was however amazing to walk into visit the old school with Isaac in my arms. The kids all were excited to see him! If you do go private, I'd love to continue to follow you! :)
ReplyDelete'It's important for Baby A to have her mother alive and healthy though, so it's what I have to do.'
ReplyDeleteExactly! Hope the meds get you sorted out very soon.
could you do the article using just your first names and no photo and explain why? I think people will understand that a teacher doesn't want to be too 'out there' with their personal life.
That would be a hard decision to make on being interviewed. I also would struggle with people I know reading too much personal info. But, at the same time, if you could help someone maybe it would be worth it. I"m not sure what I would decide in the end!
ReplyDeleteTouchwood that A sleeps so well at night!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you won't be able to breastfeed her for as long as you wanted to, but like you said, being back on the meds would mean longer life for her mum who loves her and cares for her. Go back on the meds, K!
I am with you in whatever you choose to do. If you do go private, do send me an invite. You have my email already.
Take Care!
Can't you do the interview anonymously or with real identities hidden - that sort of thing?
ReplyDeleteI understand your sadness at needing to stop b-feeding before you're ready - but I really do think you're right: your health is the most important. Baby A needs you. I've also always had high cholesterol, also genetic. It's high irrespective of how active/inactive I am, my weight, etc.. Soooo frustrating.
ReplyDeleteIf you do ever go private, I want in:) I'm not on facebook, unfortunately (I may have to reconsider this). But it's good just to know that you and A and Mr. SC are doing well. In terms of the interview: that is a very tough one. Like you, I teach (though, older students) and like you I've been protective of my privacy. It's hard. No advice for you.
I struggled with ending breastfeeding when I went back to work when my daughter was 4 months old, I have a job where I'm in the car most of the day, and didn't think the stress of pumping in the car would help my supply much...so I pumped a ton when I was on leave and did half breast milk and half formula until my freezer supply ran out. Your health and well being come first, your baby will do just great no matter what. Good luck and I would love to follow you if you go private, espcially because I'm a Nittany Lion too :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's hard to be open about IF because it affects something that is a very intimate situation in your life. I think if you could be anonymous or first name only that would be a good idea. Plus you've mentioned that you are a teacher in a small town. Coming from a small town, I know how everyone can be in everyone else's business.
ReplyDeleteI would love to keep following you if you go private! If you want to be friends on FB my email is dteachman@gmail.com!
Josey, I don't know about the pics. Because there are weirdos out there? Just something in the back of my head, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the thoughts about the article, everyone. I have some thinking to do.
Sorry about the end of breastfeeding. I'm sure that must be hard, but you're right - healthy mama is the most important thing! I'm excited to hear about your article about infertility, no matter what you decide about how public you are!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your high cholesterol and having to stop breast feeding. But I think we all agree we really want you to be a healthy mama! I don't know what I would do about the article. There are some days when I like being a voice for infertility, but other times it's really tough to be so open about such private emotions. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to about your decision. I would weigh out all the pros and cons before moving forward.
ReplyDeleteStopping breastfeeding was so hard for me! I loved it so much. My body just sort of gave it up for me around four months. I still miss it! But you've gotta be healthy and take care of you!
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard decision to put yourself out there, especially in a job like a teacher where lots of people in the community will recognize your name. My Resolve group leader wanted me to take over the group, but I didn't want my name on the website because I have literally hundreds of coworkers, between all the attorneys, judges, bailiffs, clerks, etc. It was too out there. But at the same time, I think it'd be really cool to be featured in an article about infertility; or then again, maybe not, judging by hte comments section of NYT.
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't responded to this, yet, it's been a crazy week.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you're having to make the decision about when to stop breastfeeding like this. I know it's hard to have that out of your hands. But, your health is paramount!
I also know what you mean about the privacy issue of being a teacher. And, I know I'd have a hard time coming clean as well. So, I have no real recommendations there.
As for the blog privacy issue -- I want to keep up with you somehow no matter what. I'm not on FB but I could possibly see joining (and ignoring the rest of the world on there) to keep up with you and little A!
I'd still like to read you if you went private. I understand being not sure about the magazine. I would probably try to stay anonymous with the magazine, but your right, it might be nice to speak out and get responses from people. Sorry about having to go on the med's but it sounds like it's the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI've been really terrible at commenting in the last many months. Just very aware I am figuring out this next chapter of being prego after IF/RPL and what it all looks like, but wanted to say thanks for the support. And I am just so tickeled you have your lovely little on in your arms.
ReplyDeleteI don't know where I'd be without this community that understands.
I'm finally getting caught up! Sorry to hear you have to stop breastfeeding before you were ready.
ReplyDeleteAs to the magazine, I wouldn't do it. But I'm really private, despite having a public blog (LOL!). I find it a little bit easier to share my IF journey with people IRL now that I've moved away from it a bit, but I'd never want to put myself that out there.
Also, as to your last post about losing blog friends after having A. I can relate, but I was the one who would unsubscribe to those blogs. It wasn't ever because I wasn't happy for them etc., it was because it was too hard to read about their pregnancy and babies, while I was losing the war against IF. Especially the ones that cycled at the same time as I did. It was about me protecting myself as best I could. I still feel guilty about it though. I wish I could have been the bigger person, but I couldn't.