I can't think of one that's witty, funny or anything else. I guess I'm more tired than I thought. Anyone else with me that Monday nights and Tuesday mornings are waaay worse than Monday mornings?
First, I wanted to tell everyone that I've decided to start a separate blog in a few weeks. Everyone has been such a great source of support and I don't want to hurt anyone by posting about pregnancy.
A follow-up to my post from yesterday: I called my current OB's office and left a question for the nurse. Then, I called the new OB and had to leave a message. My current OB's nurse called me back in about 45 minutes and I have an appointment tomorrow to talk about things. I'm going to see how things go tomorrow before I decide to switch. I guess they redeemed themselves with this call a bit. I appreciate so much that so many of you were understanding and made me feel much less crazy.
Finally, this question is for PAL women. Feel free to email me if you'd like (if that's easier). What do you do when you obsess and how do you calm yourself down? I'm seeing a therapist (well, I haven't in about two months) but the problem with that is that she never catches me in one of those spells. It's almost like I'm having some sort of survivor's guilt. I need some more tricks up my sleeve here.
I'm not sure what a PAL is, but the only thing that calms me down is having a good appointment and seeing the baby or now, feeling her kick. I think it will just always be this way and I am on the way to accepting it.
ReplyDeleteAll the clothes I have so far are newborn through 18 months (I know, it's crazy!). I admit I bought most the shoes. The mini Uggs are my faves. The closet organizer came from Home Depot, it's Closetmaid, it's just 2 towers, one for each side and we added a few drawers.
I'm glad you're feeling better, and I love that your OB was so responsive. I'm sorry you feel bad about posting about pregnancy. Personally, I like to see happy pregnant after loss or infertility women. You ladies give me so much hope that one day I'll be in that place too.
ReplyDeletePAL (pregnant after loss)
ReplyDeletei find that reminding myself of the differences between the first time and this time. Symptoms that are different, how I'm different, and that helps because each pregnancy is different what happened before doesn't mean it will happen this time.
I can only get in to my counselor about once a month and I'm with you, it seems like when I get in to see her, I'm ok for the moment! The only things that work for me are listening to the Doppler, talking to other BLMs, and lots of prayer and memory verses! I'm dying to feel baby girl kick, I think that would make me feel a little calmer! I feel that survivor's guilt and that's why I made a new blog too because I never want to hurt anyone else. If you ever want to email me to chat, please feel free to do so, I can most likely sympathize! Lots of love to you and your girl!
ReplyDeleteI'll follow you wherever you go. (That sounds a tad creepy...) Your good news makes me feel good.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear the OB was responsive.
For me this semester Monday nights are much betteer because my Mondays SUCK and my Tuesdays are my "easy" day for the week.
Lol Rebecca! Im with you, I will follow, but in the "shes such a great online friend" kind-of-way, not the creepy way! I understand your reasons for doing so and think its very sweet of you, but remember, people can stop reading if they find it too painful. For me the hope that someone else has had so many losses and now is being successful brings me great hope! I am glad about your contacting both docs and hope it helps you make the best decision for you. I'm sorry I cant help with the PAL Q as yet - hopefully one day Ill have all the answers! x
ReplyDeleteKelly, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. But you know I'm opinionated, and I'm just going to say how I feel. :) I don't think you should start another blog. If someone does not want to read about pregnancy, they don't have to come here. Period. This is supposed to be your space about your journey. You shouldn't have to create a new space to protect someone else. It's a little bit like TV. I cannot stand Fox News. Just thinking about turning on that channel upsets me. So I don't watch. But I certainly don't expect Fox News to stop broadcasting because I don't like it. (Though, let's face it. If Fox went off the air, I wouldn't cry about it!)
ReplyDeleteI think you should stay here. The people who love and support you will stay here - even if it means skipping some posts on days when they are feeling blue. The people who stop reading all together? Well... that's their loss for not sticking around to read such a hopeful story.
I am actually going to agree with Katie here. I love reading about your progress, and reading your news never makes me sad or jealous. In fact your progress brings me hope.
ReplyDeleteI am not a PAL yet, but have followed blogs of ladies who were, and it seems talking to other people in the same spot was most helpful. Good luck to you, I am sure that is so hard.
I love reading your progress, too! It gives me hope!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear your OB called you back. I hope they become more responsive!
ReplyDeleteI'll keep reading your journey if you move or not!
Calming down when your scared out of your whits is hard. I see a cousellor as well but she is hard to get into and i too never seem to be having a bed day when i see her. I keep trying to tell myself that all is well untill i'm told otherwise. If you have a good IRL friend a cup of tea and friendly girly chat (gossip) also works wonders. I did this one yesterday. for reason see (aifomu.blogspot.com).
ReplyDeleteDon't start a new blog, if people are feeling fragile they will just stop reading for a bit. the best bit about blogs is that that are about LIFE.
take care
I wish I had a good answer for you on the PAL subject. I'd have to say that the doppler was a lifesaver for me. Once you start feeling regular movement it's very reassuring as well, but unfortunately for me, there's always that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" feeling. As long as it doesn't take all the joy away & make you completely miserable, I think it's ok to feel a certain amount of uncertainty, especially with what you've been through.
ReplyDeleteStill really glad to hear that things are going well though, & that your OB responded so well to your phone call. Hang in there, you're doing great! :)
Is your new blog going to be called "The Sun Has Come Out"? Or "The Sun Is Out Today"? ;) I wish I had some good answers for you on how to calm yourself down, but I probably can't speak to it too much since I never experienced RPL.
ReplyDeleteAs for PAL, its a whole other ball of anxiety, as you know. I don't know that I deal with it very gracefully...I just try to cope. I worry all the time. When I'm nervous I will listen to little bunny on the doppler. Also, I try to focus on how things are incredibly different this time v/s before. I avoid reading things that may potentialy upsetting and I pray a whole lot. And of course I talk out my anxieties with other PAL friends.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and know that I continue to pray for you.