I don't know when it's going to be and it's driving me crazy.
My last scan was last Friday when I was 10w5d. My next one will be my NT scan, which I'm still waiting on the doc to call to tell me when it is. (And yes, I did call and ask yesterday but they said they didn't have the paperwork yet).
I've been doing way too much research...chances of pregnancy still being good at this point, potential problems for my 36 year old self, etc. Then I start thinking about my miscarriages...was it really NK cells? They were almost identical... Then I start thinking about if they were caused by poor egg quality. What's to say that this pg the egg wasn't just a little better but still not good (leading to horrible results at my next scan)? My answer is in my head is that with our third loss, the tissue revealed no chromosomal abnormalities and if it were bad eggs, something would have showed up.
The answer? We'll never know.
Seriously. I'm a crazy lady.
To add to things a bit, Sunday MIL brought over a pair of yoga pants that she hemmed for me that I bought over a month ago. When I tried them on, they fit, well...differently. I immediately went to my work pants.
No dice. Now yes, I could have worn them, but I would have been very, very uncomfortable. The rubber band trick didn't help either, since some of my issue was with the zipper, too.
So, off I went to buy maternity pants. I've been wearing them all week and it's been so nice to actually be comfortable at school.
Mr SC has also been on me to know when we're going to tell people. He keeps saying that he feels like it's a secret and that it's a good thing and that it shouldn't be kept quiet. This causes me to panic, too. So, I've told him after the NT scan. Then we can tell everyone.
I guess these next two weeks will really tell us a great deal.
I loved wearing maternity pants! Can't wait to hear about your NT scan. I'm sure you'll have perfect results! It is so nice to finally tell people. I couldn't bring myself to tell most people until 16 weeks. I liked having it as my little secret!
ReplyDeleteI didn't tell a soul outside of our VERY immediate family until after the NT Scan, I just couldn't get there with so much anxiety. The build-up to the scan is so hard, my heart goes out to you. I know you won't feel 100% better until you get your perfect, awesome results (and they will be both of those things!), but I'm sending you as much Zen zen zen zen as possible in the meantime. I took warm baths almost every night in the couple of weeks leading up to the scan to try to de-stress about it and improve my sleep/worry over it. Not a magic bullet, but it did help. Everything will be A-OK at that appt, I promise. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI hope the nt scan goes well. I'm sure everything will be just fine. I know what you mean though about getting nervous between ultrasounds. I bought a be-band from target for my in between periods with my pants. It works ok. I have one pair of maternity pants, but I'm short so I have to get them hemmed.
ReplyDeleteI am so looking forward to when you get to tell EVERYBODY. I know that it's hard to beat down all that worry, but this is sailing along. I am sending you stretchy waistband and calm vibes. :)
ReplyDeleteSo happy you are doing well. The craziness is normal, trust me! Your NT scan should be soon, as 14 weeks is the cut off I believe :) I had mine at 13 weeks and was so fearful of something being wrong...I had to take my BFF w as well as hubby for support. But all was well. The best part is that you leave with a ton of pictures! Oh and I'm 38 so don't fret over being a young 36 :) On a serious note, I suppose we will all question why, I still do, but am just so happy you've hit this milestone! As for telling, I waited until 16 weeks to tell and still wasn't comfy with that, but my hubby wanted to tell...so we told a select few :)
ReplyDeleteHugs and Prayers always
You're so close to that safe zone! I know the next two weeks won't be easy to get through, but I can't wait til the NT scan shows all looks good!
ReplyDeleteOn telling people, I have never been comfortable sharing the news ~ it feels like I'm jinxing it. Just be prepared to not feel ready and put on a brave face, you have to do it some time...
I hope and pray everything keeps going smoothly! Your fears are very normal, but I am sure your little babe will be fine. I'm anxious for your next scan! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteugh...I know EXACTLY how you feel! It's easy to tell someone else not to overthink this whole thing, but it's next to impossible to do.
ReplyDeletekeeping everything crossed for a great NT scan! As for telling people, I was terrified of jinxing too & actually waited until after my amnio at 17 weeks. I don't think you ever feel ready, but I guess you have to at some point. If it makes you feel any better, my 40 year old egg turned out just fine this time!
Hang in there! You are almost out of the 1st tri.
ReplyDelete<3
Thinking of you often! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, you are nearly there!! But I can completely empathize, sadly, with your fear. Many of us have lost our pregnancy innocence and it isn't EVER coming back. I would agree with waiting to tell people though...but soon you will be in the safe zone and be able to enjoy this process the way you were meant to!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy telling everyone - I'll be very jealous, I've never gotten that far along to be able to do that.
ReplyDelete~x~
Oh, the waiting is hard! I think about you often and hope everything is going well for you. And also? Old Navy sells these awesome fold-over waist yoga pants. I swear I could live in them. You should give them a look.
ReplyDelete--Manapan (since OpenID is being a booger right now)
I'm so excited for you being able to tell everyone soon! Yay!
ReplyDeleteThe latest they can do an NT scan is 13 weeks and 6 days, so you've only got three weeks at the most! Hold onto the hope, it gets better the further you get. I'm 29 weeks tomorrow, so I speak from recent experience :o)
ReplyDeleteBeen thinking of you - hang in there till the NT scan! Sending you all the peaceful thoughts I can muster...
ReplyDeleteKelly, I think your worry is not surprising, given everything you've gone through and the mystery surrounding previous losses. But you are farther - and healthier - than you have ever been. And I have the strong suspicion/hope/premonition that this is the one that will carry you to the other side. All fingers crossed for your NT scan.
ReplyDeleteI hope they schedule the NT soon. I know how stressful it must be waiting. Sending lots of positive thugs! (LOL -- that was supposed to say "thoughts" but autocorrect changed it to "thugs" and I kind of like the image -- giant thugs heading over to your doctor's office being very positive but forcing them to schedule you!! :) )
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it's stressful! I hope the time flies by and that you get fantastic news!
ReplyDeleteI still worry, and now it's when I don't feel her move for more than 5 minutes (an exaggeration, but not much.) I wonder about my 3 miscarriages, too. I think there are just things that medical science doesn't know yet. My RE is convinced NK cells is not "good medicine" and I'm sure she's saying I told you so right now since this one stuck without any NK testing or treatments. I hate RPL and I hope some day medicine can solve it completely!
ReplyDeletePraying that things will continue to go smoothly! It was fun keeping it a secret but I was happy to finally tell people so they didn't think I was just getting fat LOL. Hang in there - 2nd tri is just around the corner!
ReplyDeleteMy bella band definitely helped a lot during those transitional weeks, when my non-pg pants were uncomfortable and maternity waste bands still seemed a bit loose. The rubber band trick was never great for me, either.
ReplyDeleteI do think it's a good idea to wait until after the scan. Though I'm sure everything will be perfect at the scan, I think you'll be able to enjoy telling people more with the added peace of mind.
I've used the bella band too, that stage (I'm still in) is awkward and annoying! And the fears are there and those feelings that if I do ___ then I'll jinx it! We told at 12 wks, but it was still kinda hard for me (hubby was spreading it around). Wishing you good reports too!!
ReplyDeleteI am just so excited for you to be near the "safe zone"- I put it in quotes, so as it's unlikely you will feel very safe. But, you know what I mean. Every week you pass, I breathe a sigh of relief for you as I would myself. I don't know why this little bean made it through the NK Cells (there's a lot of people who believe those are phooey though so who knows) but I am GLAD it did.
ReplyDeleteFrom someone who didn't tell people she was pregnant until 24-weeks (and I didn't tell work until I was 8 moths) just tell people whenever *you* are comfortable.
ReplyDeleteThe Bella Band was the best thing I bought when I was pregnant, it's fantastic!
I'm wishing the best for you!
The NT scan will go wonderfully! It's great 'cause not only do you get good news about the baby, you get to watch it for a long time on the screen. :) I loved just watching it twitch and move!
ReplyDeleteMaternity pants are the best! It didn't take long 'til I just couldn't stand the feeling of anything buttoning, zipping or snapping over my belly.