I'm trying not to dwell on things. Whatever will be will be and I can't change AF. So, I'm turned my thoughts to something else...
Yesterday I received something that was so thoughtful and kind, I wanted to talk about it a bit.
I've been trying to think of small ways to help get myself through tough times (aside from medication or too much chocolate, of course). I bought an angel ornament for our tree that says "watch over us" a few weeks ago. I love our tree and often look at that angel. It can represent anyone that we love who is no longer with us, or one of our three angels that we lost this year. I was trying to think of something to get for myself (aside from the ornament) to serve the same purpose. It came today in the mail.
It's a simple but perfect bracelet with a heart charm. One side says "hope" and the other, "joy". I have no idea how she knew that this would be just perfect. I'm going to wear it this holiday season and look to it as a way to keep myself grounded. I need to still have hope. And, then I'm going to put it away.
I'll get it back out again when I get pregnant again. I know that it will be "when" and not "if". I need to always remember to have hope and from that, I'll find the joy that we so desperately are searching for. There's a little more to the gift story, but I'll keep it at that for now.
Thank you so much for this gift. One of the best things to come of this IF journey is to truly know who your friends are. Sometimes, the ones who understand the most are those you haven't even met. :)
Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI love that you received this gift, just in the "nick of time" I received a sweet gift on a day that my heart was aching and I felt hopeless and it helped brighten my day. You are so right, sometimes the ones who understand the most are those we've never even met. I say they are sisters of the heart :)
Another baby lost mama gave me some good advice that I will pass along: "Always cling to FAITH and grasp HOPE with both hands, as HOPE is ever present"
Love and prayers for new beginnings in 2010!
Andrea
Kelly, it is so good to see you're feeling better and not losing hope. Your blog title says just that...sun will come out tomorrow, we hope. Hope is never too far...we just make it seem so far at times. Wish you and your DH and family merriest & hopeful Christmas! 2010 will be a very different year for us...hang in there!
ReplyDeleteKelly.. thats so wonderful. I am so glad that someone out there in this world was able to provide you with hope and joy through their thoughtful gift. God knows you provide me with some of that with your comments and I am so glad that some one gave you what you give out so freely.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful gift from a great friend. :) I hope you look at it often and think of all the people who are behind you and supporting you.
ReplyDeleteYou're exactly right. I know that you understand what I mean completely, Katie.
ReplyDeleteEm, Andrea and um...projectbaby? Thank you for your kind words. They mean a great deal.
ReplyDeleteAmen! WHEN not IF!!! Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteBFFs are the best, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteI am blessed to have a few.
You don't even have to say the words and they KNOW.
ICLW. I leave you with this for the new year.
John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Merry Christmas Kelly to you and your DH. What an awesome post. It shows just how God knows what are needs are when we need those pick me ups. You really do have so much to hope for and that soon you will be able to get that beautiful bracelet back out and wear it as a symbol of the trials and triumphs that you have faced. You are in our thoughts and prayers each and every day. :)
ReplyDeletePraise be to God for the faith that you are able to stand on and say "WHEN" and not "IF". This is something that I have troubles with since I have not been able to get pregnant for 1 and 1/2 years now with my husband. So many times I have fear that overrides my faith in knowing that God answers all prayers in due time. I guess it just comes down to me knowing that I have wanted this for so long and that it is heavy on my heart because I feel a true calling to be a mother and I am scared that God will not allow that calling and desire to come true for Scott and I and having our own children.
Stay strong, it is helping so many of us out here in blogland. You are an inspiration my friend.
Hugs and blessings,
Stacey
Your post makes me so happy! I agree that the gift was perfect and you are SOOOOO right about sometimes the best friends in life could be ones you've never even "met."
ReplyDeleteLove and (((HUGS)))
What a great gift! I have a bracelet with a "hope" charm on it as well that I wear everyday and it really is a great reminder and has kept me calm many times. I hope it does the same for you!
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome gift. Isn't it amazing how God places on our loved ones hearts just what we need when we need it? Hope is ever-present, faith is a choice you make. Don't lose your faith and absolutely cling to your hope with all you have. God has already planned out your life. It's like a beautiful tapestry. We see the side that shows the inner workings of it, the tied knots, the not-so-pretty ends. But God sees the finished side, the beautiful and intricate threading.
ReplyDeleteICLW
Hi Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI hope that you have managed to tough it out over the past few days, which are notoriously difficult for most couples who are TTC. I am really sorry to hear about your disappointment and don't blame you a bit for wanting to rant and rave a little. I could hear my own voice while reading your posts; "Why does everything in my life have to be so complicated (substitute, if you like, inconvenient, expensive, painful, so much effort, etc...)?
Do whatever dance of rage you have to do to get it all out and then focus your mind on the next thing you can do to get you closer to being a mom. Whether it's difficult or not, you know what you want. Keep after it. You are resilient.
I don't know what age class you teach, but think about the kids and that several of them probably have mothers who struggled to become pregnant and carry a healthy, full-term pregancy. One of those mothers didn't stop trying and the result is one of the kids sitting in front of you every day.
Good luck. I hope that 2010 brings you everything you want, truly.
Lisa (Your Great Life - ICLW #51)
Lisa, thank you for your kind words. I never thought about one of the kids in my class that way before but you're right... I'm going to remember that when it's a tough day. Thank you.
ReplyDelete